Please, let me fuck your mom
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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