have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
