dude i'm inner monologue high
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
