im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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