We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The adults are the big ones right?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
