so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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