You're my little dorito
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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