Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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