maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
