Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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