No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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