I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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