I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
