You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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