Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
