Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have demons in me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.