Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
