margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
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worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
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Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.