If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.