Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize