i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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