Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
