Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
