I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think people are normalizing furries
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
