he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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