Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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