Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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