I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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