I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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