did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize