All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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