I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize