I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
