the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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