I think im going to throw up on grandma
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize