At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize