My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize