i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
