Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
