How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i need some magic done to my vagina
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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