You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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