i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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