TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
