I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize