I think I am morally bankrupt
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
