well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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