He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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