I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
