the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize