I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize