Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
