Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
