I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
