my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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