Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
