I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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