Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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