Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
