pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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